everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
