Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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