I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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