can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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