Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
