Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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