Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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