the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize