This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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