you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
