Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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