youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize