Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You work out of a Hotel?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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