So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
