covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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