soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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