Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
