You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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