Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
