but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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