Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
