Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize