She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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