my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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