I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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