i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
