she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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