You smell like a Billy Joel song
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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