I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Someone came in the potted fern
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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