He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
