Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
