you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
