brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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