I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
