the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
