Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
