his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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