just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
