The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
