he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
