Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize