Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
