he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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