PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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