I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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