Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
