Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
