I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
handjob tips. give me some.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
