Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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