She said her name was "party"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sorry about my life...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
