hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
