I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
