I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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