If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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