I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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