TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
