I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
