so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
bring money and cleavage
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
