I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
